He stood tall on the box at the bar and moved his lean, athletic body to the music. He was not exceptionally handsome but rather what I would describe as cute. As he danced, he frequently looked my way and made eye contact. Each time this occurred, he gave me that smile. You know that smile I'm talking about. The one that makes the fantasies go off in your head. And of course, I eventually got up and walked over to this hot go-go dancer and began slipping one dollar bills into the waistband of his red bikini briefs. He bent his knees and squatted down to my level, asked me my name, gave me a hug, then a kiss on the cheek, and said thank you. We chatted for a few minutes and I went back to my seat.
If nothing else had happened that night, I would have marked it up as a good night simply for this one experience. He knew why he was there, what his job should be, and how to carry it out. I was the customer and he provided the customer service that I had entered the bar to receive. I would now be going home remembering him and hoping that the next time I entered this bar that he would be dancing. A successful exotic male dancer is first and foremost focused on customer service. If the bar or club patrons are having a good time, then the financial rewards (tips) will follow. There are things that the beginning dancer can do to help prepare themselves for customer service. If you are experienced, please review these steps as well to see how you are doing. We will deal with each one individually in later blogs but for now here is an overview of what Males In Motion considers ten important characteristics for successful exotic male dancers to possess.
1. EVALUATE YOUR LOOK
The fans come to SEE dancers because they perceive them to be 'hot and sexy'. This does not mean that all dancers must have the perfect body with a strikingly handsome face. If you do, then you will have more opportunities for dancing jobs. Our "ideal" exotic male dancer would be handsome, muscular, or lean without being too skinny, and fill out their briefs nicely. There are opportunities for those who may not fit the mold of the adonis male. For example, there are "bear" clubs that like big, harry men and have dancers that reflect their desires. Different women are turned on by different types of men. They enjoy personal attention. There are clubs where the patrons like "twinks" or the young, slim guys. And there are bars where muscled or leather guys are dancers. Be honest with yourself. Do you have the looks and body to be an exotic male dancer? If not, is it possible to work out and build a more marketable look for yourself? Also, ask yourself if you are comfortable enough with your body to stand in front of a crowd of people wearing little or no clothing.
For assistance with getting your body into shape check out this fitness source: Scott Herman Fitness
2. EVALUATE YOUR PERSONALITY
Do you have the ability to communicate with all types of people regardless of size, shape, ethnicity or sexual orientation? If not, you may still be able to be an exotic male dancer, however, your opportunities will be fewer. Be honest with yourself. Determine the types of people that you can make a connection with and dance in front of while being almost naked, or completely nude. Keep in mind two major points: First, you will be physically touched by many people while they tip you, or because they want to see how far they can go. How will you react? Of course, there are boundaries and you are allowed to set your boundaries as to what type of touching you will allow. If a guest oversteps your boundaries, inform them of the club's policy, state laws, or kindly let them know that what they are attempting to do is not allowed. Second, remember you are a salesman. You are selling a fantasy experience, providing "eye-candy" for the bar or club patrons. It helps to be a bit of a charmer, and you must be an exhibitionist at heart.
NOTE: If you do not already know them, ask the event, bar or club manager what the state laws are concerning physical interaction with the audience. Each venue should already have that information available to you before you dance. The event, bar or club may also have their own policies.
3. LEARN TO DRESS AND UNDRESS
As mentioned before, you are a salesman providing a fantasy experience. If you are able to dress the part and wear the underwear, shorts, costumes, etc., that fit the theme of the club night or event, then you will have more opportunities to work. If you are an exotic male stripper and can develop the art of seduction as you remove articles of clothing, the fans will remember you. You will make more in tips. And you will be asked to work again by the bar, club or event managers. You have been hired to add to the atmosphere of the bar or club. Or you may be the featured event of the night. Do your part to make the experience positive for the fan, the management, and for yourself. Remember what you wear when you receive more in tips. What you wear may provide the incentive for that audience member to walk your way and tip you. If you are a male stripper, think about what you are doing as you remove pieces of clothing. You are performing a "strip tease". You are teasing the customers. Take your time and make it a game. This will be fun for you and the potential tippers as well.
NOTE: Each state has their own laws concerning public nudity. Ask the event, bar or club manager before you dance. The venue may have their own policies as well. Many states require certain body parts to be covered. If the state allows nudity, there may be a proximity statute as well. For example, in Nashville when the dancers at Club Arrow are nude while on stage, they have to remain three feet away from the audience.
Resources: Read this blog and article for more on what to wear.
* "What type of underwear does it for you?
* Match Your Body Type To The Best Underwear For You
4. BE A SALESMAN
Being an exotic male dancer is a job! And this job has a few specific requirements if you are wanting to be successful. You are selling the fantasy experience to the bar, club or event participants. It is your responsibility to do what you can to make their experience fun and exciting, and to encourage them to return for a future event. This includes creating a desire to return to watch you dance. The result will be more tips for you and more financial success for the bar or club. Become an asset for the bar, club or event by providing the best customer service. Of course, make sure the customer service you provide is legal and ethical. Eye contact is important. Look them in the eye and give them that look...you know what look we mean. And don't forget to smile. Whenever anyone tips you, always say thank you.
(For additional information on working with the crowd, please click this link and read my blog about Saying Thank You!
5. CONSIDER YOUR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
As an exotic male dancer you become the object of desire for many fans. This means you may be receiving a lot of attention. How will this affect your personal relationships? Do you have a significant other that will be able to emotionally handle other people giving you a lot of attention? We recommend that you discuss the job, the fans, the situation, etc., with them so that they are aware of what all is involved. Then it is your responsibility to reassure them of your commitment to them. Of course, do not go overboard with this, because they might get the idea that you have something to hide.
In some social situations the job of being an exotic male dancer has a negative stigma attached to it. Some of your friends or family may not approve and will let you know it. Do you have the confidence in yourself to rise above criticism and perform to the best of your ability? There are also fans who will make the incorrect assumption that with a little encouragement, usually of a financial nature, you will be willing to perform the role of a prostitute. A situation could arise that will require you to make it clear that you are an exotic male dancer and entertainer only. There are some exotic male dancers who are also escorts and porn stars. If your career includes other activities of a sexual nature, you will need to determine where, when and with who those activities will occur and make sure that it is clear with the bar, club or event audience members.
CLICK HERE TO READ PART 2 - STEPS 6-10
**2013 Evaluate Your Look ~ Seeing Is Believing!
***2013 Evaluate Your Look ~ My Favorite Things
Do you have a comment or suggestion that you would like to add? I would love to hear your thoughts. If so, add a comment at the end of this blog, or click here and send me an email. Also, if you are an exotic male dancer, let me know where you are dancing. I might just drop in. Until next time, slide those dollar bills into the waistbands and keep the boyz dancing!